• Abigail Hall

A Year Without You

Dear Grammy,

It’s been a year since you took your last breath, trading your body for eternal peace and painlessness.

I hope it’s wonderful. I hope it’s full of ice cream and tie dye and Harry. I hope your soul found exactly what you dreamt of and hoped for, for so long. I hope you’re up there talking to all your favorite people from the Bible like you always told me you would. Mostly, I hope there’s peace, happiness, tranquility, and a beautiful beach for you to enjoy forever.

We miss you.

I wished the world would stop when you passed. It felt that way to me. It felt like time stopped, and I still feel like a piece of me went with you.

You taught me:

How to be creative.

To love food and to enjoy every piece of life possible.

To scream and laugh and be alive.

To pursue anything and everything I want and to never, ever give up.

To believe in love because it’s better and makes the world more beautiful.

And to appreciate the ocean. The way the waves ebb and flow. An eternal love story: kissing your toes gracefully before whispering goodbye, only to return again and again.

How to run through the sand so it doesn’t burn my toes. To bask in the sun, marvel at the wild ponies of Assateague, to collect cool seashells and never, ever, ever lose the wonder and marvel of the world around us.

To take stock and be grateful. And I am. Grateful that we had you as long as we did. Grateful you’re at peace. Grateful that the waves will never stop kissing the shore just as your love for us, and our love for you, remains.

I wished the world would stop, but it didn’t. It went on and we’re making it work.

Miriam had her son, Miles, who is adorable.

Bee got promoted and just bought a second house with now-husband Ayden.

Kaelyn got into college for Radiology in Pennsylvania and yesterday Livi got an 85 in a geometry test.

Aunt Becky turned the upstairs loft into a playroom for Gabe and eventually Marcie, and yesterday the girls, Sid, and I played cars with Gabe until he started masterfully creating with your old stamp collection.

Last night, Kae, Liv, and I went to the boardwalk and had heart to heart talks while eating thrashers, and said hi to Jake while he was closing Dough Roller.

And we’re all here today at Assateague to honor and remember you.

The world has gone on, and us with it. But we miss you, and wish you were here.

There will never be a moment where I won’t wish you were here. But, sometimes I feel like you are.

In a sweet song that reminds me so much of you I cry. In the flutter of a passing hummingbird, in the wind as it says hello to the trees, and in the waves on this very beach whispering lullabies to us.

And one day, when that peace washes over us all, I hope we get to hear your laugh again. Until then, we’ll laugh, and eat, and enjoy the waves for you.

May we meet again.



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